Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Pundit practice

I have very few people no one to talk to about American Politics. But like I said earlier, I do watch the debates. And I need to vent. Which I will do here BEFORE I read the usual pundits.

And, I know, I just felt sorry for all my American friends who have to suffer through all the ads. Just skip this if you're a Republican.

Mitt Romney is a big, fat bully. An arrogant, selfish, sexist, racist, thief. And a rude and mean human being. Now I know Jesus must love him too, but I'm afraid that I am finding it difficult at the moment.

Romney still neglected in the debate last night to explain precisely how he plans to accomplish all of his grand plans, but he keeps mentioning "my five-point plan" which I haven't looked up yet, but I can only assume, must have all of these details:

1. Women: Somehow he plans to lure more women into the work place (not because he actually values them as equals, but as a political move) by offering them flexible work-hours (because clearly women are the ones who should accommodate their children). He never said that he would agree to push for legislation that would help fight for equal pay for women, I bet he doesn't even know any women who are competent: He confessed that he asked his staff to "find him women."

I bet he plans to offer all husbands a higher salary so that their "women" can stay home!

Sadly, he didn't mention how he plans to help same-sex couples raise their children (even though recent studies have shown that gays and lesbian may actually parent BETTER than heterosexual couples. Maybe because they make a conscious, deliberate choice to parent, unlike many non-controceptive using, horny heteros) but I suspect that his plan would... well, I fear his plan may ask for the same legislation many Republican men helped push in Uganda--make homosexuality punishable by death.

And. To help lower-income women with their health-care (instead of offering them access to free preventative care, like Planned Parenthood does) his plan must involve finding them husbands. Particularly Mormon husbands.

2. Immigration: Deport all "illegal immigrants" (yes, he really did use that dehumanizing word. Several times. As if he equates people who desperately want a better life for their children to thugs selling drugs on the streets. More on that word here. Or here: Christians for Comprehensive Immigration Reform. And forgetting that most of the people whom he calls "illegal" are children of those who made the choice to cross a border. Being "illegal" in the US is the most irreparable crime one can commit... worse than murder. You can commit murder and get out in 20 -30 years, but if you're "illegal" you have a life-sentence, no repair available. Even the small step of repair for children that Obama was finally able to push through, the DREAM Act, will likely be cut off by Romney) But his plan for "self-deportation" will likely help his plan for jobs as well.

3. Jobs: Five million jobs he says he will create! He must plant to use the billions of jobs that will be freed up after the deportation of all of the "illegals." I'm sure all of the currently unemployed people in our country will be delighted to accomplish all of the jobs the "illegals" have been doing for two pennies an hour for decades. No doubt the sad, little Ivy league graduates who are out of work will love milking cows at 2 a.m. in Central California or scrubbing other people's shit out of gas-station washrooms (just a few of the jobs that are dominated by "illegal" immigrants).

4. Money: Let all of the rich people (the top 5 - 2%) of the population continue to make their millions and millions by continuing to let them enjoy tax breaks that middle class folks don't. The more you make, the more you keep! You make $100, you keep $90 (because then government just got $10!) You make $30, you keep $25, government only got $5:(  And no doubt the top 2 - 5 % are the ones funding his campaign.

5. Oil: And finally, he definitely said last night that he plans to make "North America" (not the USA) energy independent. Which, if you were listening carefully, he mentioned Canada. Because that's where all the oil is. But what if we don't want to share our damn oil with the US?

Na, I won't attempt to become a pundit... it brings out my bitter side.


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