I often tried to smile and say hello, but he never returned my eye contact.
Eye contact is meaningful. It can mean everything. Or sometimes nothing.
I used to get at least ten hugs every Sunday morning at my Church
It will be some time before I receive another hug from anyone other than my family.
But. Hugs from my family are better than a clean house, Greek yogurt, and sunsets.
Sometimes my husband bribes The Children
to hug me and tell me that they love me.
They don't know I hear him do this.
And even though I know it's a paid deal, I still love it.
I used to know where everything from liquor stores to the DMV were located,
and the back routes to get there.
Now I need to program everything into my phone's GPS,
and risk getting an expensive ticket for having my phone out while driving.
I need to leave it in the trunk.
I used to sit on my back patio most evenings,
And within five minutes I would usually have a visitor or five.
And these evenings would often turn into late nights of laughter and music and stories.
Now I watch all of the strangers walk by and I hope that someday I will know them.
I used to check my phone several times a day to see what was going on.
Now I barely need to charge it, no one likes to make international calls.
I used to get my mind all tangled over all I had to do in one day.
Now after I get the boys to school, I read Julian of Norwich with my coffee.
Slowly.
It's nice being retired. But it's scary too.
As in, how are we going to afford my 40th birthday party/vacation of the century scary.
Julian of Norwich was a genius. She says things like,
"In God's voice I never hear a hint of blame."
And. She uses the word "behold" often. And I like that word.
I also like the word colloquialism. Say it. I feels good. And kinda sexy.
I used to think about writing often.
Now I write.
Myles bumped me when I was taking this shot (this is mere feet from our new home) and I liked the crooked.
No comments:
Post a Comment