Monday, November 7, 2011

superpowers

Myles recently asked me what superpower I would choose to have if I could have any one that I wanted. I stumbled for a while, as if the question merited a thoughtful answer (and suspending myself in the disbelief that it could be real). I considered opting for a "permanently super-model bod, no matter how much I eat or how little I exercise," but thought that might communicate vanity (not a trait about women that I want my 7-year-old to learn until he must), then I dreamt of money, riches, and endless days of a life without having to go to work, clean, cook, or think about hard stuff, but then I remembered that most rich people I know are miserable folks with too much class who worry about which stupid fork to use... I quickly grabbed my thoughts from entering the "I want to be fabulously smart" zone, as I don't want my son to know I'm not that already, and landed here:

I'd like to have a personal meeting, a happy hour, with God, every day. And I don't mean to sound pious or holier-than-thou, like I want to be the next Christian Women's Motivational Speaker, which is why I added the happy hour bit. Because I like to think of God as a he/she who just might enjoy a margarita more than a fill-in-the-blank workbook. I picture God as someone who could sit back and chill as we discuss the messiness of the world and my life, and that he could offer hints as to where to begin to start cleaning it up. And I'm no longer in the God-as-Santa-Claus phase of my life (though I sure slip there sometimes and wish that were true) but I kind of think that purging my fears and difficulties and f-ups to the Creator Of The Universe might do me some good. In person. Over drinks. Which is how I like to have most of my conversations.

But. Then I think there would be many happy hours where he might be silent, and let me keep talking until I realized the absurdity of what I would no doubt be saying.

And maybe happy hours where I could listen to all the crazy ways he gets involved in people's lives--where it looks like a disaster and then turns out to be a masterpiece. I'd love to hear more of those.

And those when he could simply let me know that I'm okay, that I don't need to try so hard, and remind me that he's got everything under control. And he loves me the way I am. I'd like to rest in that reality every day. I don't know why it's so hard to forget that. The thought of deep study to get there isn't my first incline during my afternoons, though I know that's what every Preacher/Teacher has suggested as a way to get that message and feel its truth.

So that's why I would opt for a happy hour. Though I suppose that's not really a superpower at all.

But I didn't explain all that to Myles. I just said, "meet God for happy hour."

And when I asked Myles what he would choose, he said, "Reunite nature." Which prompted a WTF from me, so he explained: "It means to bring nature back to our world and show people how nature can teach you how wonderful the world can be."

Dear God, I'm raising a hippie.

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