Instead, I'm finding myself here, writing. Writing to process the complexity of this upcoming life trans-mega-ition.
I'm a "lister," so I list things. Today, I list my fears:
1. That no one in Canada will like me.
2. That Canadians have a drastically different style, and I'll have to re-think my entire wardrobe. And hair.
3. That no one in my next neighborhood will have finished high school.
4. That my boys' school will be full of helicopter parents, or worse, no-copters at all.
5. That I'll forget to do something important here in Denver. Like say goodbye to someone I love dearly. Or pack my dog.
6. That people in Canada may think I'm strange for drinking during the week. Or letting my boys' hair run wild. Or... see above comments to the "stager."
7. That I will get to Canada and then I won't want to be there. And it will be too late.
8. That no one in Canada will know all of the important things I've accomplished. And it will be awkward to have to tell them. Wait. I haven't really accomplished that much. But still.
9. That Canadians will be crazy intimidated by my extreme attractiveness. And I'll have to repeat the mantra: "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."
10. Mostly, that I'll start caring what other people think about me. I have convinced and fooled myself during the past few years into believing that I did not, in fact, care.
Cheers to convincing ourselves to be delusional, eh?